'I really wish my parents had let me give up the piano' said no child ever (Elissa Milne)

It's the start of the new school year.  Children have returned to school and piano lessons eager to learn.  There really is no better time to get the piano practice rolling than right now. It's up to parents to establish and uphold the expectation that their child will practice as prescribed by the teacher to help their child develop a practice habit.  If you, the parent, are inconsistent then your child will receive the message that actually, music practice is not important nor valued.  

Develop a practice habit

I read a fantastic book earlier this year about how habits work.  Habits are developed by our brain to make our life easier.  For example brushing our teeth when we get up and when we go to bed.  We don't need to think about this, we just do it and I'm sure it's something you're trying to develop in your child, with daily reminders necessary for years.  

To develop the piano practice habit you need to develop the same routine for your child.

• Cue - practice time e.g. before breakfast / coming home from school
• Routine - play the piano
• Reward - it's fun (hopefully, sometimes there may be a challenge but challenges are here to be overcome and the reward is then 'getting it')

Consistency is key

Consistency with piano practice is key.  If you are willing to be inconsistent, so too will the child.  Every single child who has ever played music will have wanted to skip practice or complained about it, but if you want the end goal - joyful music making - you have to go through some pain.  Elissa Milne says 'just as you don't give your child the option of not brushing their teeth, bathing, eating, dressing, in the same way practice is not optional.  Even if you have to remind them daily for a decade.  You are the parent.  You make the rules.  No one ever reached adulthood and said I wish my parents had stopped me learning the piano.'

Schedule a practice time

So, you're at the piano having scheduled the cue - the practice time.  Now the real work begins of helping your child through the frustration that will inevitably come, as with any endeavour.  Gary McPhearson a music education expert found that parents are the ones that quit.  they get fed up with the battles.  So what can you do when the going gets tough and the child doesn't want to do it?  

Dr Christopher Fisher, whose talks this series of blog posts is based on, tells the story of a tomato plant which he heard from a Suzuki teacher (in case you don't know, parental involvement in instrumental lessons & practice is central to the Suzuki approach).  To grow your tomato you can't yell at it.  You can fertilize it, you must water it and where you plant it matters - a sunny spot or not.  

You can provide structural support but you cannot make it grow.  You want tomatoes but you can't focus on them.  You have to focus on the environment.  You have to create an environment where the plant can grow and thrive.  In the same way you need to create favourable conditions at home, that will enhance and maybe accelerate their love and learning of music.  ​

How might you begin to create this environment?  Here are some thoughts:

• Go to classical music concerts, orchestral and piano.  We have plenty at GLive in Guildford, music festivals, music events at the Electric Theatre (Guildford).  Look out for child friendly events at the Royal Albert and Royal Festival Halls and GLive.  Get your child fired up and inspired, wanting to make music like the people they see;
• Watch YouTube videos of pianists.  Lang Lang is inspirational, as is The Piano Gal (a young teen);
• Let your child see you struggling to learn something.  Why not get them to teach you something they already know so you can find out just how tricky it can be;
• Listen and move to classical music as much as possible.  Sign up to the new listening list if you haven't done so yet.
• Is the piano in a sociable area of the house or have you located it somewhere 'out of the way'?  Children won't want to play if it's not in a sociable area in the house.  
• Is it warm and inviting or a bit of a mess?  What can you do to make it an inviting area?
• Is it comfortable?  Is the stool at the right height and is it well lit? 

Take them to a children's event somewhere like this, how could anyone fail to be totally inspired by The Royal Albert Hall!

You're still going to get tantrums and problems.  Christopher Fisher says 'when little people are overwhelmed by big emotions it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos'.  I love this.  It's so easy to get caught up in it all rather than just be present with the child's emotions.  Remember the key is to be calm and poised so that you can help your child.  

Share, regularly, that learning brings obstacles that children can overcome with persistence and your support.  Share your own experiences, the mistakes you've made, the failures so that children learn they are not alone in experiencing these problems.  Show your child they  can rely on you to help them through the obstacles.  If they tell you they can't do it, tell them they can't do it yet.  And if the obstacle becomes too big talk to the teacher.  

How about putting this growth mindset poster up by the piano?  (download the mindset matters file below)  The authors suggest picking one statement a day for your affirmation and work on applying it throughout the day, of course also apply it to piano!

when little people are overwhelmed by big emotions it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos

Takeaways

A few things to take away from this post:

• Your attitude to practice matters.  If you let practice slip so will they. 
• Schedule a time to practice and stick to it.
• Keep calm!
• Cultivate fertile soil - create the best conditions for learning you can
• Change 'I can't do it' into 'I can't do it yet'

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What strategies have you found that work?  Share them below!
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Read the next post for practical strategies to apply to practice sessions.  

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